As someone who numbers myself
among those who were teased as a child
(particularly at school),
I find myself deeply concerned
and saddened when I hear
of another victim of bullying
which has seemingly increased
not only in seriousness
but also in frequency
between then and now.
When I was bullied,
I had to learn how to defend myself,
preferably “in a nonviolent way”
was how my parents put it.
I had to learn how to deal
with confrontations in such a way
that I was able to walk away
with some dignity
without having taken it
from another.
Looking back I see that,
despite how sad, lonely,
and awkward
I felt during those times,
it also taught me vital social skills
and lifetime lessons in
conflict resolution.
Bullying is more exposed these days
but is it really more common
or more extreme?
I’m afraid in many cases it is.
I’m afraid in many cases “It”
has become “All of the Above.”
Granted, social networking
definitely complicates matters.
As parents we wish to shield
our children from anything
that may harm them mentally,
physically, or emotionally.
When your child is being
tormented at school,
it can be very difficult to know
whether or not to intercede,
And how?
When is enough, enough?
Why are kids dying over this
and more importantly,
what can we do to prevent it?
You answered your own question. There is nothing you can do to prevent it, because bullies have always existed and will continue to exist. The best thing you can do is teach your children how to avoid confrontation when possible, while also letting them know it’s okay to physically defend themselves if necessary.
Bullies prey on weakness and timidity. As a child, I always found that showing them that I was not afraid to stand up for myself early and often was a strong deterrent. Making them unconsciously do a cost-benefit analysis of bullying (i.e., “It’s probably better to bully someone else, because this guy is likely to punch me in the face if I push too hard,”) seemed to work. Although, groups of bullies are a bit more difficult…